On this journey, I have recently had to learn again to accept myself – love my body where I am right NOW. I have thick hips, sagging belly that folds over, arms that still jiggle after I wave. I started to be upset at myself, irritated that I am not perfect after all my hard work. My self talk started to be negative – like a mean gym coach that I had in school. I didn’t even realize it because the words crept in so slowly. Comparing myself to others who lost weight but seem so toned, others who work out like me but seem to be able to eat anything they want. It’s so not fair.
This morning, I was feeling under the weather, sinus and ear infection. I laid in bed for an hour with thoughts in my head telling me that I was lazy, I was going to end up being 250 lbs again, that I haven’t changed. Then I stopped. Why was I allowing that talk to even play out in my mind? Yes, I had to take care of myself and cancel my gym time this morning because of illness, but that doesn’t make me a loser or a quitter. Yes, I had a lot of fun last weekend with too many calories, but I didn’t stay there. Holidays happen.
We are most critical of our own body.
Yes, I will never be a woman who can eat a juicy, greasy hamburger and fries and never see a gain on the scale. Yes, I birthed 2 children – one c/section with both being hard labors. I may never have a flat stomach. It may always fold. That skin was not only stretched by kids but by all those extra pounds. My hips show that I am a woman with curves.
This is my road. These are lessons that only I can learn. Sometimes, I have to find the encouragement within myself. Don’t compare. Don’t try to measure up to the girl next to you on the treadmill. Its not about being the best but trying your best.
Besides, have you seen my legs? Dang, they are looking awesome! 🙂 I tried on swimsuits a few weeks ago. Yes, I was well aware of all my flaws but I thought Iooked pretty good!
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2 thoughts on “Happy Thoughts

  1. Great post, Jamie. I so admire your transparency. The blue suit looks amazing on your bod! Your legs do look awesome too. Curvalicious is what I say! 😉

  2. Jamie what a neat blog! I love how open you are about your inner dialogue and the emotional ups and downs. You rock! And keep it up! 🙂

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