Labor Day weekend we loaded up the bikes while we spent a few days at the Lake in Warsaw. I was feeling a little defeated. Ok, very defeated and a bit depressed. Nothing happened in my personal life to make me feel that way – just didn’t feel that I was on track with my healthy living and my jeans were getting a little tighter. I didn’t use that energy to fuel me to get back on track.
Saturday morning I met the family at the swinging bridge in Warsaw. Jason had Isaiah on his bike and I had Sarah on the piccolo behind me. With her and the piccolo, I pedal with at least an extra 90 lbs behind me. It’s a great strengthening workout! That morning, we followed the lake down to the dam. In my head, I was done and ready to turn around. Jason asked me if I wanted to go across the dam. I wasn’t familiar with the area so I came up with alot of excuses as to why I wanted to turn back but really, I just didn’t want to go any further. It was getting hot, I didn’t know if there was a bike trail, there was traffic (I am a chicken when it comes to biking around cars!), I didn’t know the road, I had Sarah behind me….etc…etc…etc. But one little voice broke every one of those excuses into tiny little pieces. My 7 year old daughter, the one who has seen me fight and be an overcomer – who knows to speak positive – said in a chipper voice, ” Mom, just try it. You never know until you just do it. You will love it. I will be behind you and will help.” I gotta say, that moment was a game changer for me.
Little did I know that just before the dam, there is a main road with no bike trail. Not only that, but there is a long, steep hill – with traffic. Honestly, it was probably the biggest hill I have ever biked or ran on. But I went for it. I pedaled and pedaled with my daughter’s little voice yelling, “I am here Mom. I am pedaling hard.” We started going slow, super slow, it didn’t even feel like we were moving while the cars whizzed by. Then that little voice started to waiver. “Mom, are you ok? This is tough.” …a wave of determination went over me. She was there for me just a few minutes ago. This time, I was going to step up. We took a rest for half a minute and got back at it. We had to rest a few times and she wanted to stop completely halfway through. But I kept telling her, it’s ok to rest if you need to – just keep going. We finally reached the top of the hill and made it across the dam. And you know what? That little girl was right. I would never have known I could do it unless I tried it. No regrets.
That hill represented alot. I was pulling an extra 90 lbs behind me. That’s how much I lost (ok, so I have gained some back, but I have and can be capable of overcoming 90 lbs!) in weight. The hill is like my journey. Sometimes, I have to stop and refocus. But I will make it. I will never ‘arrive’ or reach my final destination – there’s always work to do, always a new level. But I got this.
At the bottom left hand side of the photo you will see the trail that runs parallel with the lake, then further to the left, you will see the road with the hill that curves to the dam. There it is! And on the way back – going down that hill was AWESOME! I felt like a kid and was giggling right along with Sarah!