Recently I saw an old photo of myself – at my heaviest pushing 260lbs. The thoughts in my head were not nice. “Yuck.” “So gross” “Why did I let myself get that big?” even thoughts of disgust and hate. “So glad I don’t look like that now” 

Then God spoke to my heart and I stopped. I would never say, or even think, those words to another human being. Why do I do it when I see my ‘before’ photos? That woman is different than who I am now, that’s for sure, but my “before” me – was still strong, a fighter, beautiful, talented, and kind. She overcame clinical depression, moved past the hurts of an abusive marriage and ugly divorce, fought for her daughter to have a good life. I may not have realized my strength until I started to lose the weight – but it was still in there. 

My before picture is a beautiful mess. My during pictures – not after – also represent a beautiful mess. A strong, committed, overcoming, beautiful, starting again so many times, mess. The only difference, besides the weight loss, is that I finally realized who I was and who I was meant to be. 

Love yourself no matter where you are on the journey. 

  

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One thought on “My beautiful mess 

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