I felt like I could conquer any run that was handed to me this week. Improved my pace to under 12min – inching closer to 11min pace. I ventured out on the road, instead of my usual trail running. Rain didn’t stop me (which I actually enjoy) and even incorporated some hills into my 3 miles.
But then Monday came.
I was on cloud 9 after finishing my 3 miles last night, so since it was member appreciation day at my local gym and I was due for my long run of 5 miles, I said – “Why not?” It’s been a few months since I ran on the treadmill. Only a few seconds in, I remember why I take the stand of NO TREADMILL. Only one mile in and I felt defeated. I stopped. I paused my workout app. Went to the bathroom. Walked slowly back and pressed start again. Ok. 5.0 = 12min mile. I do that easily all the time. Nope. Not today. I am not sure if I just don’t run at a steady pace? Maybe I like the freedom of going at an ever so slightly different pace. Maybe I don’t like the restriction of doing what that machine tells me. I think I run differently on the treadmill though. My back ached. My hamstrings hurt.
5 miles. I did it. It was an hour of mental focus. I was at war with my thoughts. I am not afraid to admit that I cried because it was such a slow, painful process getting it done today.
“It’s Not Over Yet” – a new running song is like getting new running shoes to me. For King and Country got me through the run today. I may have repeated this song 10x.
“They are inside your head
you gotta voice that says
“You won’t get pass this one,
you won’t win your freedom”
It’s like a constant war
and you want to settle that score
but you’re bruised and beaten
and you feel defeated…
To everyone who’s hit their limit,
it’s not over yet, it’s not over yet.
and even when you think you’re finished,
it’s not over yet, it’s not over yet.”
I still am an Overcomer. This life of maintaining weight loss is tough. Conquering new goals is tough. Going outside of my comfort zone is tough. But I know what I am capable of. I know the strength and resilence that I have within me.
13.1 my race, my pace.
Here’s to week 4 and more miles…on the open road 😉