I want a do-over. A complete, forget about this week, let’s try this again, do-over.
I allowed the week’s long run of 7 miles to haunt me and get in my head. I had a great week last week. Pumped out 3 and 4 mile runs daily and felt like a champ. But 7? The list of why I couldn’t do it was long. Thunderstorms, taking 2 hours, it’s humid, no thanks on doing it on the treadmill, I work night shifts – early AM runs are like you waking up at midnight to run, and the kids have sucked my energy dry this week.
No runs this week. Not even a workout except a bike ride yesterday. I drowned my defeat with ice cream and potato chips.
I have not been a good mom this week. I have struggled with the balance of interacting with them one-on-one and making sure the home is in order. And then being nice to my husband, who doesn’t need a grumpy wife. The kids, from sun up to sun down argued and fought. Their listening ears were clogged. I tried to be that patient, loving, let’s resolve this with good choices, kind of mom. I sat down with them and came up with team building projects, made summer workbooks, did neat hands-on Pinterest crafts. Disaster. Nothing went by the parenting book. So I was a yelling and on the verge of tears kind of mom this week. Yep. Scored a big, fat zero for my mom skills. This week, I truly wished I wasnt a stay-at- home mom.
Much love to my husband who made me dinner tonight then sent me upstairs for a bath and handed me a glass of strawberry wine after giving me a hug, and while he cleaned up and took care of the kids for a bit.
No workouts, ugly nutrition, negative thoughts all made for a week I will just chalk up to life lessons. I may feel like quitting but I know next week I will begin again.
This is hard. But do-overs come every morning. They even come every moment of the day.